Time To Burn

I get home the other day, expecting an afternoon nap and maybe some Seinfeld. Nothing fancy, nothing too riveting. However, waiting on my bed was something shocking. Sports Illustrated 2009 Swimsuit Edition. Now don't get me wrong, I love thumbing through the glossy pages of borderline naked chicks in exotic places as much as the next pre-pubescent guy, but something was different about this one. I started wondering about the girls behind the breast implants and how proud there parents must be. There girls are doing what they love, and if that means an occasional nip slip, then so be it. Sports Illustrated is not just selling sex, they are selling real feminine personalities to the public. Hell, there's even a gap-toothed model thrown in there this year, showing America that it isn't just some shallow soft-core porn, but instead a look at inner beauty. These girls are are trying to connect with us on a deep intellectual level, sometimes shown through their use of "historical photo locations" (Naked Jessica on Capitol Hill?) They even give you these nice captions about what the girls do in there free times and sometimes they even brush up on deep subjects like politics with these girls. There is something so cute about seeing a women wearing nothing but a barely laced swimsuit telling me she's proud of our " 2nd African American President" (MLK Jr. being the first in her world) and how they had hoped "Sarah Palin would have been the 1st women President". Such wonderful insight from the beautiful beaches of Cozumel.


Good god, please save us.